by : Andrea S Parker

I saw a post by another parent on a message board and it began this way, “Today is my autistic son’s birthday and I am sad…” I recalled all the many years past that I felt the exact same way. This was a sentiment that it was impossible for many people to understand but I bet other parents of children with autism do. The reason for the sadness is certainly not that you regret the day they were born! Parents of children with autism love them with one of the strongest, fiercest loves ever seen on this planet.

The reason for the sadness is because a birthday represents a significant milestone- a date of importance that cannot be ignored. Every year, at various times but certainly on birthdays, parents of children with autism face the indisputable fact that although their child might be twelve or thirteen chronologically, they are far younger than that developmentally. This creates an understandable pain and anguish in the parent. This highlighting of the developmental differences inherent in the disorder makes it difficult for many parents to “celebrate” a “happy birthday.” It takes time, and above all a very difficult spiritual concept called “acceptance,” to actually have fun on the birthday of a child with a significant cognitive/ developmental delay.

Today, my son’s birthdays are an absolute blast. I suppose this testifies to how far we have both come (more me than him.) He is fifteen now and doing much better than before. Yes, he is still significantly delayed in certain areas, particularly speech. Interestingly though, on his birthdays now I rarely think about the delay anymore. He is very happy and he is doing very well. His birthdays are joyful now. Perhaps they are celebrations of the absolute warfare I feel we have been through.

To those parents who are sad on the birthday of their children with autism, to you I say I understand. I have been there. One day in the future you will be happy on his birthday, I promise it.

By Bonita Darula

Autistic children do play ping pong ball. Yes, it is true, autistic children do and are able to play the game of ping pong ball. But, what is the purpose? Most children with autism have a passion for playing some kind of a sport game, which helps them to be on common ground and connect with their peers.

The main purpose for teaching ping pong ball to children with autism, is that it develops coordination in the arms, wrist, and improves leg movement, motor skills, helps to focus to have a better attention span, and it gives an excellent work out of exercise and does not require expensive equipment.

Introduce your child to the game, by allowing them to see a ping pong table, the net that goes across the table, the paddles and the white balls. Let your child hold the ping pong balls, the paddles to get the feel of them, until he or she feels comfortable holding these items. Start to bounce the balls slowly back and forth with the paddles. The paddles are light weight and so are the white balls for easy wrist action and for bouncing the balls back and forth.

Teach the individual with autism to hit the ping pong ball back and forth to the other side of the table with the paddle so it will be a back and forth hit touch, hit touch, over to the next side, across from the net on the table. By doing this, the person will have a better understanding of how to play. You may want to play a game or two at first with another person and have the child watch what you do, to give them an idea of what to expect.

Playing the game with children who have autism, creates a purpose of not only exercise, but it helps one to learn, discover how to have fun, laugh, be a team, have a challenge to gain self-confidence, it helps the individual from being isolated, full of anxiety, and depression. Develops coordination in foot and arm work, eye contact on the ball, and build up of the muscles.

In addition, children with autism that play ping pong ball, have slowly overcome some of their negative stress levels, that have brought on the positive purpose for them to become more calm and relaxed, with less anger outbursts, and tantrums. It creates emotional health, by building the child who has autism, to gain their self-confidence and enables them to communicate to have better relationships with other children and adults. One important thing to recognize, is, when playing the game with autistic children, it will bring about fun and laughter, which also builds stronger relationships and improves communication skills which is sometimes difficult for people with autism.

When you are playing ping pong ball, the purpose is not to stress winning, but just to have fun and a joyous time. Try not to take the game too seriously, because if the child loses or makes a mistake he or she will go away in tears. Instruct the child that is okay to lose. One does not have to be a winner to enjoy the game.

It is imperative that the game is not controlled by rules or goals, which could confuse the child with autism and cause, he or she, not to participate, in playing the game and walk away in tantrums or anger outbursts. Instruct the child to play the game, out of love and encouragement with patience.

There becomes a sense of peace and a positive detachment from every day reality, by playing the game of ping pong ball. This decreases the amount of tantrums and anger outbursts the child of autism might have with their disorder.

Purchase an inexpensive ping pong ball table. Play the game with your autistic child, to have fun and enjoyment and there will be positive purposes that will enrich both you and your child.